I have a lot of feelings right now. This isn't even a blog so much as it is a journal and for some reason I always pick the WORST POSSIBLE TIME TO WRITE. For example, right now I should be doing AP Environmental Science, Algebra 2, British Literature, or AP Government homework. But no. I'm here. I'm here because I'm just really sad. I miss my best friend so much. I miss her more than the world could know. I love her to death and I wish she didn't live across the country. I wish we could live in the same city and go to the same school and hang out all the time like I know we would. I just miss her a lot. I've only seen her three times in my whole life and no one has ever understood me like she has.
I also feel exceptionally fat lately. I've been getting giant stretch marks and I'm so embarrassed and overwhelmed by them. I really want to fix it I just don't have time or I don't want to have the time. I just want them to go away. I want my weight to be normal. I don't want to be fat. I should lose more weight. I need to. Also I have a bunch of pimples on my face that are really not adding to this situation. I have pants on that keep falling low and I can't wear tight shirts because then it's like "OH LOOK FAT HOW ARE YOU." I can't even wear a fucking t-shirt because my arms are disgusting and red and bumpy and I also have stretch marks there too. Fucking stretch marks.
Also boys suck. This isn't specific. I understand that the universe does not owe me a boyfriend or anything it's just that why do they all have to suck. I just want to meet a guy who doesn't suck. So far all of them do.
And junior year is death. Like I'm casually failing all of my classes and yes that is an exaggeration but this year is basically guaranteeing where I do and don't get into college next year and the grades I have right now will not get me into Northwestern or even U of M. AP Gov is impossible, I'm such a horrible test taker, and the ACT is so hard and I'm taking it again in three days and I just really don't want to.
This has been a rant.
